Have a sad Diwali!

It’s a big day for Hindus, its Diwali. The quickest way of describing this day for Christians is that it’s the Hindu equivalent of Christmas, and it’s to celebrate the conquering of good over evil. Rama (one of our most important Gods) returned somewhere close to this day and it also marks the death of Narakasura (a celebrated equivalent of Devil who successfully made his way in both Ramayana and Mahabharatha…quite a feat!).

As I scroll through my Facebook I get to see a lot of a lot of people saying “Happy Diwali!” For me, this day has mostly heralded more sadness than happiness. It seems like for the world this day is a bomb Diwali, including the girl below.

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I went to boarding school when I was in grade VII, because I saw all the brothers in my family go to boarding. It was my family’s Parampara - tradition. I wanted to be a part of this tradition so I was somehow able to coax my parents to send me to boarding school in India, very far away from home. My mother didn’t want to send her younger son, me, but I finally prevailed over her selfish love. Honestly, I cared less about tradition and more about being able to talk like my elder brother/cousins and being able to get the love and attention I saw them get when the came back for holidays. I always felt like I was less loved when my dear brother visited and it was insecurity that drove me to want this. Insecurity about being second-best and the less loved. In all fairness, as a cute, chubby, happy kid, I was loved by a lot of people and got lots of attention. I’m spoiled. I love attention, who doesn’t? Even Barack Obama does, and so did Gandhi.

To the world, I have always seemed like the happy-go-lucky person, and in all honesty, I am happy. Yet, I can tell you that people who really know me, know that there is a lot more sadness in me than I care to show. Every time I see all the happy tweets and fb statuses, I get a feeling that I’m just a failure.

So, I want to take this opportunity to wish everybody a sad Diwali, but a real Diwali. Celebrate this Diwali with family, good food, and diyas (lights). If you feel good, bad, angry, sad or anything at all for me, please don’t celebrate this day with fire crackers and bombs. Remember that you are hurting all the people that you are making sad; this has more to do with the people who make these fire-crackers than spoiled people like me.

I would like to end this post by thanking some people who’ve made living in US and holiday celebrations a real joy! I celebrated different moments with them: Diwali/Dashera, Christmas, Easter, or just a few special days when they included me in their family. I don’t want to name them for I don’t want anybody to hate me on this auspicious day. They know who they are, and for the first time in my life, I’m going to take this opportunity to wish these individuals thank-you for including me in your celebrations. I will never forget what they did for me.

What do you think about celebrating special days, and what is the one day that you really look forward to celebrating? Is it something that makes you happy?

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2 Responses to Have a sad Diwali!

  1. CS says:

    I was pretty unfamiliar with Diwali until recently, and this was a particularly good read because it dug below the surface of the celebration. Also the link you posted was eye opening. I didn’t get the bomb photo at first, until I looked at that link and then looked back at the photo. Wow. This was a well thought out and honest post. Thanks for the education!

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